


Jedi Talent Show

by LobsterLobster



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-21 22:07:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30028539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LobsterLobster/pseuds/LobsterLobster
Summary: When Anakin Skywalker's plan for the Annual Jedi Talent Show is derailed and his easy win is no longer looking so easy, all bets are off! He'll do whatever it takes to win! But what is Obi-Wan up to? And where did Ahsoka and Barriss learn that dance routine anyway?
Relationships: Barriss Offee & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Anything recognizable does not belong to me.
> 
> A/N: Please do not take this seriously! I hope you will be as amused as I was while writing it. Expect several more short chapters.

Anakin Skywalker was in a sour mood. He was back on Courscant while his Star Cruiser was at the depot for some much needed repairs and the clone troopers were given some much deserved shore leave. The problem was that a certain Senator had been called into some urgent diplomatic meetings and had no time for him.

A nice sparring session with his Padawan would take his mind off things. Now, if only he could find said Padawan. She wasn’t answering her commlink and Anakin had spent nearly half an hour walking around the Temple trying to find her when their Force bond led him to the Padawan dormitories.

Anakin knocked on the door to Barriss Ofee’s room. Then knocked again. He could sense Ahsoka inside, but she was distracted. He knocked one more time, more loudly. There was no answer.

Anakin did not appreciate being ignored. He keyed the door to open and was met by pulsing, upbeat music.

Barriss’ sleeping mat was rolled up and pushed into the corner of the small room. The two girls were dancing along to a holo recording.

_“All the single ladies! All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!”_

It took a moment for Ahsoka and Barriss to realize they had company.

“Master!” Ahsoka abruptly stopped dancing.

“What in the worlds are you doing?” Anakin was truly bewildered.

“We’re practicing! For the talent show,” Ahsoka explained.

Anakin had forgotten about the annual Jedi Talent Show. It was a relatively new tradition and may or may not have been inspired by the popular holonet program ‘Coruscant’s Got Talent’.

_“If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it! Don’t be mad once you see that he want it! If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it! Oh, oh, oh!”_

“You’re doing this song?” Anakin raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t you get it? It’s funny because we’re not allowed to get married. We’re all single ladies!” Ahsoka said and Barriss, who was usually quite composed, giggled.

Anakin personally didn’t find it particularly amusing but the two girls clearly thought it was very clever.

“And besides, everyone always does the same things. Lightsaber forms, sparring, Force levitating some rocks. We need to do something different if we want to stand out,” Ahoska added.

“I suppose,” Anakin said. It still seemed like an odd choice to him, but Ahsoka and Barriss were having a good time, so who was he to argue?

“You know, I forgot all about the Talent Show. I guess I’d better go find Obi-Wan so we can practice sparring,” Anakin said, getting ready to leave.

Ahsoka’s next words stopped him in his tracks, “Oh, I talked to Master Obi-Wan earlier. He said he’s doing his own talent this year.”

Anakin froze. That couldn’t be right. He must have misheard.

“Obi-Wan said what?!”

“We saw Master Kenobi in the Archives this morning. He said that he was doing something new for the show. He didn’t say what it was,” Barriss said, trying to be helpful.

Suddenly the Force felt like a dark cloud hanging over Anakin.

“Master?” Ahsoka started to ask but he was already walking away down the hallway.

Ahsoka and Barriss exchanged looks. Then Ahoska shrugged, “He does that sometimes. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Okay. Let’s start it again from the beginning,” Barriss said.

…………………

TBC!


	2. Chapter 2

Obi-Wan Kenobi was enjoying a leisurely lunch in the Temple cafeteria, chatting with friends that he hadn’t seen in months, when a black gloved hand slammed down on the table in front of him.

Despite his finely honed Jedi composure, the loud noise nearly made him jump out of his skin.

“TRAITOR!” Anakin shouted.

Looking up at his very angry, very loud former apprentice, Obi-Wan blinked in stunned confusion. He didn’t have to wait long for an explanation.

“You’re entering the Talent Show by yourself!” Anakin accused.

Obi-Wan nodded a bit hesitantly, “Yes. I am.”

“Were you even going to tell me?” Anakin demanded and Obi-Wan started to understand.

“Of course I was going to tell you,” Obi-Wan said reasonably, but Anakin was not to be placated.

Each year the winning performer, or duo, had their name engraved on a little golden plaque hung under a banner that read ‘Most Talented Jedi’ on a wall outside one of the training rooms. Most Jedi insisted that it was only a silly tradition, not to be taken seriously, but most Jedi also tend to be very competitive at heart. The plaques for the past five years read ‘KENOBI & SKYWALKER’.

“But why? We always perform together and we always win. Why mess that up?” Anakin asked, still upset but thankfully a bit calmer.

“We always do the same thing. Again and again and again. People will get tired of it,” Obi-Wan said.

Anakin glared. “Or _you_ will get tired of it,” he accused.

“Anakin. Please,” Obi-Wan was growing frustrated but he wanted Anakin to understand, “You and I have fought together nearly every day since this war started, and when we’re not doing that we practice sparring. And you know I wouldn’t have it any other way, but don’t you want a break for once? To do something different?”

“Like what?” Anakin asked impatiently.

If Obi-Wan thought he had a talent that was more spectacular than the two of them performing a free-style sparring session, complete with Force-assisted acrobatics and endless lightsaber maneuvers executed with speed and precision, it had better be something good.

“It’s a surprise. And honestly, Anakin, I had no idea it was so important to you. It’s only a talent show.”

Anakin clenched his teeth. If Obi-Wan wanted to be difficult, then fine. He should have expected as much.

“Fine. Do whatever you want. I don’t need you anyway,” Anakin said icily.

Obi-Wan watched his friend stalk away, thinking as he often did after a confrontation with Anakin, ‘I probably could have handled that better.’

From their expressions, it was clear that apparently Aayla and Luminara agreed with that assessment.

“You didn’t even tell him you were breaking up the partnership?” Aayla commented.

“That’s cold,” Luminara said.

……………………………..

TBC!


	3. Chapter 3

There was a tangible buzz of excitement in the Force. Anakin Skywalker had taken over one of the larger training rooms. A piece of flimsy posted near the doorway stated that he was holding auditions for a sparring partner for the Talent Show.

It didn’t take long for a crowd of curious Jedi to form, filling up the observation area on the side of the room. There were hopeful Knights and ambitious Padawans, each convinced that a partnership with the fearless Skywalker was a sure ticket to First Place.

They each fought their hardest, calling on the Force to sharpen their reflexes. Anakin defeated them all, one after another, barely even breaking a sweat. Jedi after Jedi was disarmed and, after a courteous bow, slunk off to the benches around the edge of the room to catch their breath and rub their sore muscles.

Word of what was happening spread through the Temple like a spark in a dry field. Many Jedi had heard the fantastic stories of young Skywalker’s exploits and realized that this was the perfect chance to see if he really was as good as his reputation claimed.

Jedi of all species and all ranks, many fresh from combat deployments against the Separatists, came to challenge Anakin. But one after another, their attacks were too predictable or their defensive parries a fraction too slow, and they were soundly defeated.

Quinlan Vos was the first one to give Anakin a run for his money. They fought in a flurry of slashes and blocks, their sabers humming and sparking against each other. Anakin started to feel a glimmer of hope that he had found a suitable replacement for Obi-Wan, but it turned out that Quinlan was still recovering from a nasty blaster wound to his left arm and after one misjudged swing, Anakin deftly knocked his saber from his loosened grip.

After fighting upwards of thirty Jedi, with hardly any breaks between bouts, Anakin was growing tired. He wasn’t about to admit as much but, when one of the Masters supervising a group of star struck Initiates who had come to watch suggested that they call it a night, Anakin agreed.

Auditions began again in earnest the next morning, the last day before the Talent Show.

One of Anakin’s best traits was his ability to adapt under pressure. So time and again he managed to outmaneuver, outthink, wear down, or simply overpower each challenger. After a few hours of this, Jedi started to face him in groups or two or even three. There were some impressive bouts but ultimately Anakin came out on top each time.

The highlight of the day was Kit Fisto. Always ready for a friendly challenge, Master Fisto led a lively round. He moved with a fluidity and grace that often masked the power of his attacks. After a rough start, Anakin was able to recall training with the older Jedi during his early Padawan days and, sinking more deeply into the Force, began to anticipate his moves.

Anakin kicked out, forcing Kit to block the strike with his forearm. Sensing his opening, Anakin freighted a wide slashing attack but at the last second instead jabbed his blade forwards, the glowing tip held a fraction away from Kit’s chest.

The Nautalan Jedi’s face registered surprise then a more solemn respect. He deactivated his saber and Anakin followed suite.

“Well done. You have grown a lot the last few years, Skywalker,” Kit said, bowing deeply.

“Thank you, Master,” Anakin replied.

“I will let you know when I make my decision,” he added, but Kit had a feeling that the young man was only being polite. It was clear he was out of the running.

Word began to spread that Anakin Skywalker was taking on the whole Temple. Gossip and speculation flitted through the hallways, the classrooms, and even in the Council Chamber.

Some less generous Jedi wondered about a rift between the usually inseparable Kenobi/Skywalker duo, dismissing Anakin as a hot headed show-off. One rumor said that the whole thing, the Cafeteria argument, the auditions, and Obi-Wan’s mystery talent, were merely a rouse and Kenobi and Skywalker were going to come out with something more spectacular than ever.

After several hours of fighting, despite the boost to his ego at besting so many talented Jedi, Anakin was feeling disappointed that he hadn’t found a single person to be his partner for the show.

He needed someone who could challenge him and compliment him at the same time. Someone who was evenly matched to his unique fighting style. Someone who was Obi-Wan.

No. Anakin shook that thought away. He glanced about the room, looking for his next challenger, when his stomach growled. It was well past lunch time.

Anakin sat alone in the cafeteria, eating slowly. Maybe he was being too harsh. Maybe he should just choose someone already. But nobody was the right match. If he wanted to beat Obi-Wan, whatever Obi-Wan was planning on doing, he had to have the right match.

His thoughts were interrupted by someone setting their tray down across from him.

A deep voice said, “I have a proposition for you.”

…………………………

TBC!


	4. Chapter 4

It was the day of the Talent Show. Hundreds of Jedi gathered in the Grand Auditorium.

As expected, there were the usual displays of lightsaber forms, acrobatic maneuvers, and tricks of telekinesis. One Jedi had the stage lights dimmed and spun her lightsaber so fast that it looked like a solid sheet of light moving about her. Another levitated assorted rocks, borrowed from the gardens, while balancing on one hand.

Then came Ahoska Tano and Bariss Ofee. They strode onto the stage and a hush fell over the audience. Then the music started to play and, dancing in near perfect synchronization, they belted out the lyrics.

The audience started to clap along with the rhythm. Padawans and young Initiates sang along and, as Ahsoka and Bariss hit their last note and struck a pose, cheered so enthusiastically that many older Jedi cringed at the deafening noise.

Ahsoka and Bariss bowed to the audience and then rushed off stage, huge grins on their faces.

“We did it!” Ahoska exclaimed breathlessly.

“You were amazing!” Bariss said.

“No, you were amazing!” Ahsoka said, hugging her.

“I wish I could have seen my Master’s face,” Bariss laughed.

Out in the crowd, Master Luminara’s surprise had yet to fade. She’d had no idea that her reserved, studious Padawan even liked to sing or dance, let alone that she clearly had a good deal of talent for it.

There’s no way Bariss would have chosen that routine on her own, Luminara was sure. Ahsoka’s friendship seemed to be bringing the young girl out of her shell, and for that Luminara was happy. Even if she was a bit baffled by their taste in music.

Anakin was sitting next to Quninlan Vos, his arm in a sling, who said, “Wow, Skywalker. Your apprentice sure can dance.”

“For the record,” Anakin told him, “I did not teach her that!”

………………………..

TBC!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next chapter will be longer!


End file.
